A Niger-shaped hole

Distance and time are strange things. Seeming to exist more in one's mind than in stark reality. We have been receiving periodic emails from Peace Corps Niger staff, updating all the volunteers about what is happening in country, and allowing us to send in our updates to be sent out to others. Yet the news is strangely absent of stories about even the 'higher up' Nigerien staff, such as Tondi, our training manager, or Souleyman, Ash's supervisor. Even more absent are the updates from our host families in Hamdallaye, or of our villagers in the rural reaches of the Sahel. I suppose its too much to hope for to hear of them again, to hear tidbits of their lives which are so meaningful. Even if we did get some morsel of news, its superficiality would never slake our hunger to hear Tondi's laugh again, or to sip the over-sweetened tea that our host dad, Isoufou would give us, or to hear Maimousa say "dommi!!??". 

Instead we're left chewing on the memories we have of them, the prayers we can offer up toward them, and the distant hope of one-day returning to see them. I'm realizing now how much Niger has left its mark on me. A mark so deep and so pervasive that I can't place my finger on it, let alone articulate it. Somehow our short experience of that vast country has altered the course of our lives. At some point between leaving Philadelphia and now, sitting at my computer back in Denver, there was a slight curve in the road of our lives; the new course imperceptible at first is now obvious as we wind our way towards the horizon of clarity. But that horizon itself, clarity itself, is perhaps a misnomer. In order for clarity to come, there has to be understanding of what would have been. And yet in life there is never a clear picture of what would have been, only an admittedly fuzzy image of what is. And so clarity will remain forever a horizon. Forever around the next curve in life. 

So here is to the people of Niger. To Zali with her beautiful laugh and the way she would say Ash's name; Mariama. I hope you are enjoying your very own chair. To Isoufou and his toothless smile and rough, calloused hands so strong and true. To Tondi, with the most life-giving laugh and the kindest heart, may you reach your goals and attain your dreams. To Isa in Fadama with his no-nonsense helping hand, hopefully Charlie isn't bothering you too much and I'm sorry we didn't come back. To Garba, thank you for always greeting us with a smile, for the ride on your ox-cart, and we're sorry we didn't recognize you after you shaved your head, hopefully we'll have a chance to recognize you again. To the women street vendors with their full-face smiles and light-hearted but helping conversations. 

Allah kiyaye. Allah shi bada lahiya. 

The next placement...

We're on the cusp. At the edge. Once again the next 2 and a half years stretch out before us, with two very different paths to choose from. Our journey through this decision has been revealing on so many levels that I feel like it needs to be shared. We've had to re-examine everything in our lives over the course of the last few months - from our material possessions to our commitment to overseas service to why we want to serve with the Peace Corps specifically.


Our new placement options arrived from Peace Corps (PC) with a heavy dose of frustration and disappointment, dripping with the rigidity and bureaucracy we had been assured weeks earlier in Morocco would not be present this time around. The option (singular) at first was 'Eastern Europe' leaving in 'early June', offering both Ash and I jobs which were not unappealing. After pressing for the promised options (plural), we were told the it was Eastern Europe in June, Southeast Asia in July, or 'Africa' in mid-September. Each with different jobs in different focus areas. We were also given a 48 hour window in which to make a decision which would affect the coming 27 months.


And so began the brain wracking, the internet searching (blogs, PC site, wiki sites, etc), the heart searching, and the weighing of pros and cons. We pretty quickly nixed Africa, mainly due to the fact we would have to wait so long, and that the jobs there were ones neither of us were excited about. Down to Southeast Asia or Eastern Europe (could there be two more different places to choose from?). We deduced that the Eastern Europe country was probably Moldova, and the Asian country; Cambodia (thanks to PC Wiki site!). 


In Moldova we were both excited about our 'jobs' - PC's very vague description of the kind of work you could sort of expect to be doing: Ash would be a Health Education for Schools and Communities Specialist; and I would be a Community and Organizational Development Advisor. The jobs were a huge pro, the place, neither of us were ecstatic about. 


Cambodia held less appealing jobs, however we were definitely interested in the region more. Other factors to consider included the fact that Cambodia is far lower on the Human Development Index, which to us, spoke to the kind of lifestyle and work culture we could expect there (which would probably be closer to Niger than Moldova); Eastern Europe as a whole faces far different challenges than a place like Cambodia; the climates of the two countries couldn't be more different. 


After exhaustively talking through and mulling over these and countless other thoughts, feelings, and inclinations, we were both at an impasse. We both were equally pretty excited about both opportunities, but couldn't bring ourselves to resort to a coin toss to determine the next two years of our lives, which left us frustrated and seeing no real way to garner more information that would give us a strong leading one way or the other. 


So Moldova it is. We made the decision I think based on reasons that we can't fully articulate. But confirmation that it was the decision we were supposed to make came ten minutes after Ash had emailed our Placement Officer in the form of a phone call from him. He said that a new 'job' had just opened for me (everything else, including Ash's job would stay the same) if I wanted it: the opportunity to work in agricultural and small business development. I was blown away and instantly knew that this was exactly what we were supposed to be doing. 


Now, a few hours after the final decision, I'm reflecting on the whole thing and realizing just how much we've learned over the last few days. I feel so blessed to be able to go through this process, this life-planning, huge-decision-making process, with my best friend and soulmate. To be able to come through it, not easily, but better off, excited, and together, is wonderful beyond words. Everything about our new assignment (details will be coming next week) is 100% different than everything we had imagined we would be doing in PC. And yet, we're excited, humbled, and moving forward with the knowledge that it will be exactly what we make it to be. 


Thank you wifey. Thank you family and friends for your perspectives, your thoughts, your prayers, and your support. And cheers to the next chapter!!


Moldova, here we come!

An overdue story of an evacuation...

***  parts of this have been written at various points over the last 2 1/2 weeks... ***

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And so it goes... We are currently on our way to Morocco.  No, not for vacation, but rather for a 'transition conference' no one saw coming. 

We received "the call" (as I have now dubbed it) on Wednesday, Jan 13th, mid-morning. Just around the time we were trying to decide whether or not we should make our way to the Mai gari's (mayor's) house to talk to him about the fact that no one had turned up to finish building the walls of our latrine as promised. 

I sat next to jos as he answered his phone thinking it might be his family calling or another volunteer.. Soon enough I heard him say something along the lines of 'yes, my wife, Ashley, and I are in ******.' and I realized it obviously couldn't have been anyone we knew. Then came the long silences on Jos' end of the conversation with intermittent 'what??!'(s) and looks of complete bewilderment. Not knowing what to say, Jos handed me the phone... Then I heard it, "Peace Corps Niger has decided to evacuate all volunteers ... " 

Peace Corps Niger began in 1962, just one year after the founding of Peace Corps, and had been close to celebrating a full 50 years of uninterrupted service in one of the poorest countries on Earth.  I don’t know about you, but that’s not the kind of irony in life I look for.  

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That was a week ago, the last 7 days have passed by in an unforeseen blur beginning with our attempts to explain to our village, in Hausa, we had to leave and didn't know if or when we would be returning. How exactly do you explain (in Hausa) that you probably won’t be returning, not because you don’t want to, not because you don’t feel safe there, but because an extremist group 4 hours away, in the nation’s capitol, made some horrible decisions that we now, all, have to pay for?  Next came the mind-numbing (thankfully) task of  repacking all of our things that we had literally just started unpacking just a few days prior.  This also meant trying to find a new home for our kitten, Charlie, the 20+ trees we had just planted in a small plastic bags, and the slew of random things we had just purchased from the market to make our house a home.  Thankfully, one of the villagers we had given several household items to saw both Charlie and the planted trees and without hesitation said, “I will take care of them for you until you return”. 

The next morning, Seyni, the Program Assistant/Driver for Dosso region and go-to guy for getting things done, arrived at our house around 7:30 having begun his day at 5:00am.  Within minutes of his arrival, after prayers of safe travels and return from some of the villagers, we were on the road and headed to the next village.  Seyni has worked for Peace Corps Niger for 25 years…  

Soon enough all of Team Dosso found themselves in Niamey closing out our bank accounts and exchanging our CFA for $. How surreal...  We spent the rest of the evening at the Niamey hostel getting ready for our departure to Morocco.  The hostel looked like a tornado had ripped apart bags and left the belongings in its wake.  There were bags, suitcases, tables full of food, piles of unwanted clothes everywhere… and approximately 40 volunteers looking slightly bewildered, but willing to make the best of any situation – possibly because that’s all we could do.  We spent the evening cooking, laughing, packing, and repacking before our 4am departure to the airport.

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Morocco - what bitter-sweetness... To be able to visit a place so beautiful and culturally rewarding, but to have so many unknowns looming overhead and to have left our hearts in Africa, in the many villages of Niger. What do we do with that?

It is now a couple of weeks after the evacuation, and Jos and I have found ourselves back in the mountains of Colorado wondering if the last 4 months really happened.  They must have - we have incredible, vivid memories of amazingly welcoming people, of highs and lows that could only have come as a result of pouring ourselves into an entirely different culture.  A culture that captured our hearts and had us looking forward to the next two years of life in service to its people.

  

Now, we wait, we wait again to find out what’s next - where and when?  Some of the 98 volunteers evacuated out of Niger were able to get “direct transfers” into other countries, some were given an “expedited return to service” in which they were able to find out both where and when (within the next 2 months) they would return to service, and some were given the option to re-enroll.  Jos and I fell into the latter category, being a couple makes it twice as difficult to be placed somewhere…  we mailed in our re-enrollment packets the day after returning from Morocco and now all we can do is have patience and wait for the phone to ring.

Thank you Peace Corps Niger for an amazing 3 and a half months.  Thank you for opening your hearts and homes to us and for giving us something more to live for beyond our selves.  

And thank you to the CHARM stage for making it a memorable PST ... blessings to you all where ever you are and know that you will, all, always be in our thoughts and prayers.